Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Envelope, Please!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman’s Nominees for Best Picture

Ava Tar: Great aunt Ava shrieks as she steps onto a newly paved road in her flip flops.

The Blind Side: Jewish mother complains when her son secretly tries out for the football team

District 9: Extraterrestrial refugees stuck without a minyan in contemporary South Africa

An Education:
A suburban London teen finds her traditional education replaced by something slightly more sinister when an older, worldlier Bat Mitzvah tutor teaches her to sing Adon Olam to the tune for "Jingle Bells"

The Hurt Macher: War veteran returns to shul and steams off when is not given an aliyah.

Inglourious Basterds: Brad Pitt stars as a shul president who joins with his rabbi in hunting down the guy who snuck pork rinds in to the knishes.

Precious: With a little help from a sympathetic teacher and a kindly nurse, a young, overweight inner city etrog manages to save her little pitom from an abusive lulav.

A Serious Manischewitz: A Midwestern physics professor’s life slowly begins to unravel after his wife announces that she's leaving him for a piece of matzah.

Up: A feisty septuagenarian gets phlegmy as he has his first aliyah.

Up in the Air: A corporate downsizer joins board of Jewish organization and complains that no issue is ever resolved.

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