Jacob’s Speech
Shabbat Shalom!
As you know, today’s Torah portion
includes the Ten Commandments. While I have no problems with the Torah’s
choices, I thought this would be a nice opportunity to reflect on what my own Ten
Commandments would be.
o
Thou shalt not hurt another human being or any living
thing, including your sister, at least so long as she is bigger than you.
o
Thou shalt visit Israel. And when you do, thou shalt go to that gelato
place on Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem.
o
Thou shalt not judge people by appearances…unless they
are Patriots or fans (sorry about that loss, Rabbi.). But seriously, for my mitzvah project,
I’ve donated money to the Wounded Warriors Project, which helps soldiers
rehabilitate after suffering major injuries in battle. These injuries may have altered their
appearance, but we can never forget that they are heroes.
o
Thou shalt never quit learning or you might not be
able to handle what challenges life throws at you. I understand that bar mitzvah is not the end
of my Jewish education. In some ways,
it’s only the beginning.
o
Honor your parents, because they can really make life
miserable for you if you don’t. But
seriously, I love you guys.
o
Thou shalt not rip your quarterback anonymously in the
papers, especially when you have just choked away your chance at the playoffs. Don’t worry, fellow Jet fans. There are brighter days ahead.
o
Thou shalt not
hate anybody, because as Jews we know how it feels to be hated.
o
Thou shalt have no other gods before me, including
such false idols as money, success and popularity. Or, in other words, the Miami Heat
o
Thou shalt not steal…especially when I’m crouched
behind home plate
o
And finally, thou shalt always wear matching
clothes. Yes, it’s true, my clothes
always match – and I’m the one who picks them out. It’s important to wear matching clothes
because it demonstrates self respect and it shows organizational skills. I’m a
very orderly person, although I must admit, I don’t always clean up my room.
So there you have it, my
Big Ten. Not including the Golden Gophers, Hawkeyes, Cornhuskers, Buckeyes,
Badgers, Spartans, Wolverines, Hoosiers, Boilermakers, Illini, Wildcats and
Nittany Lions. They are the other
Big Ten, and there are actually twelve of them.
But for my Ten Commandments, there are just ten.
Actually here’s an
eleventh. Thou shalt always be thankful
to those who have helped you along the road.
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